Get your tetanus shot now, before Trump and Republicans destroy Obamacare, and join me on the Ornery-Runt Express!
You won’t believe your luxurious accommodations, second only to the Orient Express! You will enjoy the scenic beauty of the United States as we steam along at a breathtaking 8 m.p.h. aboard the Buffalo Tom LTD!
In some cities, we will take you on walking tours so you can stretch your legs. You will stay in the finest luxury motels! You will “stay where the stars stay”! (We have a strict limit of 25 guests per motel room!) Pee Wee Herman and Carrot Top are frequent guests in many of these motels, so bring your autograph book!
Don’t worry, I have not forgotten food and entertainment when we are out and about in larger cities! You can order festive meals directly from the drive-up window (Please, speak clearly into the…
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